kesabaran....

well...it's been an exhausting week, but certainly not from appointments. from trying to find people! but i'm getting more and more sick of malls and shopping areas...ugh. i hated shopping at malls before the mish, i'm REALLY gonna hate them when i come home, haha. it's been a learning week... i'm trying to learn how to contact in the malls, but it's REALLY hard for me to find people to talk to. sis siman is stellar at starting up conversations with people, but i was telling sis the other night... i feel like, as a bule, i walk around with this HUGE shield around me that other people have to walk around. that or i have some sort of disease, and people are afraid of getting too close. well, unless they wanna sell something. then they're just fine getting close to me (ESPECIALLY when they find out i can speak indonesian), cuz they think i'll buy whatever they're selling. but besides them, its hard to get close enough to anyone to even try to start a conversation. i did, however, get a referral from a muslim lady and that was HUGE for me! and i had a very nice (or was it tense? i was fine, but i think the other guy was a little tense) conversation about religion with another guy who didn't believe in church, just faith in Christ. so...it's hard, but i'm slowly learning to contact like this. its a bit like starting the mission over again...except this time i don't have the language as an excuse, haha. but i've had a few fun experiences in different places trying to contact people...haha i'll tell ya all about them when i get home. words can't explain it near as well as me acting it out, lol :P

and basically we've had no appointments....all week. it seriously is killing me. we met with raz on friday, and since then we've had NOTHING. we've tried meeting with her monday and tuesday and today, but she always cancels last minute (she's got finals coming up, and is writing all her papers right now). and we dunno who else to try.

i did have an interesting experience tho...i contacted a muslim guy last week, and i tried calling him the other day, but it was busy, and i've just been putting it off since then cuz i figured he wouldn't wanna meet anyways, but then he called yesterday and wanted to meet! he's fluent in english, and works for an oil company. he's a really cool guy, and said he's open to hear our message. but i thought it was cool that HE called ME, and yes...another shove in the face that i need to have more faith in my work here, and the people i meet with. hopefully we'll be able to meet with him on friday.

PLD was last thursday, and it was good. the last one with pres marchant, and i thought it was interesting that the topic of his talk was on decisions...how we need to make decisions before the questions come so that we don't hafta make the decision in the moment. he also emphasized important things to consider when making decisions (like marriage, school, etc). it was really cool. elder subandriyo came and talked to us about "power statements" and how we need to give power statements that are direct and clear when we contact, cuz that'll help us. i'm still working on getting better at that, but we're practicing so we can get better. and sis marchant talked about how we need to literally start counting our blessings...and this talk probably has had the biggest effect on me. i've really been trying to see my blessings more...i know if i start doing that, even when things aren't the way i want them to be (like right now), i can still be grateful for what i have. it's been good for me to do this, especially this week. and i'm especially grateful for sis siman...when she's down, i'm always up enough to help her, and when i'm down, she's always there to lift my spirits. it's definitely helping us become closer as a companionship.

so what have i learned this week? to enjoy this time that i have left in jakarta. i know i'm not gonna be here long, but i really DON'T wanna leave it the way i came to it. and that's REALLY gonna take some work. so i pray every day that Heavenly Father will help me overcome my insecurities and remember that i'm here to TALK to people...and He helps me do better every day. that's for sure. if nothing else, i'm learning more and more, while on this crazy adventure in this amazing country, that i have to rely on Heavenly Father...i can't do ANYTHING on my own. contact, teach...nothing. i'm realizing just how independent i was before...and even tho i had a testimony, there are only a few times in my life that i can REALLY remember specifically having to rely on Heavenly Father for any extended amount of time. now, i know i have to be patient and work hard, and pray every day to be able to do both of those to the best of my abilities (which are greater than i think!). yes...this mission is by far the greatest thing Heavenly Father has ever told me i need to do, and i'm SOO grateful to be here! every day is a learning experience, and makes me a better person with a stronger testimony.

thank you all for your love and support and especially prayers...i love you and hope you have a great week! loves~
~Sister Sara